


You'll Find Me Chasing The Sun

by stardustedruins



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Happy Birthday Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, M/M, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Pining Oikawa Tooru, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25403083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustedruins/pseuds/stardustedruins
Summary: Iwaizumi’s lips twitch into a smile “You are like the sun Tooru, and I will always chase after you, for the rest of my life.”In which Oikawa Tooru hears something he's not meant to and then runs away before he hears the rest.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 226





	You'll Find Me Chasing The Sun

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say?
> 
> The Haikyuu manga is officially over and that means I'm drowning in the Haikyuu world. It's Oikawa's birthday and I had to write something, after all I'm IwaOi trash.
> 
> So hope you guys enjoy the story! Happy Birthday to Oikawa Tooru - The Grand King. Shittykawa. Milk bread lover. Alien enthusiast. A brilliant captain and setter. Thank you for everything.
> 
> [ Title inspired by the song Chasing the Sun - The Wanted ]

* * *

It’s on a Monday, a few weeks before graduation that Oikawa Tooru’s self esteem takes a hit.

For Aoba Johsai, Mondays were supposed to be rest days, but the loss against Karasuno remains freshly imprinted and fuels strategy meetings and tactic discussions instead. The players are _technically_ resting their bodies after all.

Oikawa is running a little late after he had been mobbed by a group of girls. As they inched closer to graduation, it seemed that his fans were making sure that Oikawa would only leave with a girlfriend; or maybe it was the fact that Oikawa could no longer use volleyball as an excuse and was back on the market. Either way, he had been dealing with a lot more letters, confessions and sweets, more than usual and each time Oikawa turned them down patiently. 

_“I’m not looking for a relationship at this point in time.”_

_“I’ll be focusing on volleyball in college as well.”_

Those were the excuses he used, but they were far from the truth. _Oikawa Tooru was fifteen when he realized he was in love with his best friend_ . He was fifteen when he realized that if he acted upon such feelings, he’d lose Iwaizumi’s friendship completely. It hurt to think that he could never hold hands with Iwaizumi, never do the things that would cross the boundaries of being best friends, but he was lucky to have a place next to Iwaizumi. _Nothing was worth losing what they already had_.

Even though the third years were no longer a part of the club, they still dropped in occasionally and meeting up on Mondays to share strategies with their juniors had become a regular event.

It’s when he nears the gym and he can hear a deafening silence that he knows something is terribly wrong. The team was never silent when they met up together, _it was an impossible case_. He wonders what’s going on and pauses at the door, hidden from the rest of them.

“I just thought it was a little weird Iwaizumi-san. I wasn’t - wasn’t trying to be rude. I’m sorry, it was out of line.” he hears Kindaichi exclaims in panic.

Oikawa is definitely curious now. _Did Iwa-chan get a confession or something? What’s going on?_

“I think it’s a reasonable question actually.” Kunimi’s cool voice follows. “I mean no offense Iwaizumi-san but Kindaichi does have a fair point. Between you and Oikawa-san, he’s the one who needs you. You’re practically his caretaker or something. You keep giving and he keeps taking. _What’s in it for you?_ ”

Oikawa stills as he repeats the words, lips moving soundlessly and he realizes with a sinking heart that Kunimi has a fair point. He waits for Iwaizumi to say something, anything but there’s only silence that follows.

_Ten seconds._

_Thirty seconds._

_A minute._

There’s no response. Oikawa turns around and walks away and then he’s running. He manages to get into the boys’ restroom without anyone seeing him and he leans against the wall, slumping onto the floor. His head is spinning and Kunimi’s words echo over and over again in his head.

**_“You keep giving and he keeps taking.”_ **

Oikawa had always known that he didn’t deserve Iwaizumi. Their entire lives, Iwaizumi had stood by him, through the thick and the thin, _they had done everything together_ and yet, Oikawa was the one who had always needed Iwaizumi.

_“Iwa-chan buy me milk bread.”_

_“Fine, you’re just going to keep pestering me till I do anyway.”_

_“Iwa-chan let’s go and watch the stars. Maybe we’ll get kidnapped by aliens.”_

_“Oi dumbass it’s two in the morning.”_

_“Iwa-chan why can’t we win against Ushiwaka? Just once.”_

_“We will, one day, together.”_

_“Iwa-chan I need to practice harder, to get better.”_

_“Tooru, you’re enough.”_

_Oikawa Tooru is seventeen when he realizes that he can never be the giver in a relationship_. After all Iwaizumi had admitted himself, the silence had spoken volumes. When Oikawa was thirteen, he had found a book on relationships in the library. He had been too young to read it and had been too young to understand it, but now he could recall the few sentences he had read and something within him withers.

**_‘Relationships which consist of a giver and taker are doomed right from the beginning. One person will always selflessly keep giving and the other person will selfishly keep taking.’_ **

It takes a few minutes, but Oikawa pulls himself together and walks out of the restroom like nothing had happened. He walks towards the gym, his steps heavy but focus singular. Oikawa had been wearing masks and facades for years now like they were different pieces of clothing. It came to him as easy as breathing. And that’s how he walks into the gym, with his usual cheery smile “Sorry everyone, I was ambushed by my fans.”

Hanamaki snorts, muttering _“What’s new?”_ Matsukawa shakes his head in amusement and the rest of the team acknowledges him with soft murmurs, but he cannot bring himself to look at Iwaizumi.

Throughout the meeting, Oikawa’s facade does not crumble. He can feel everyone’s assessing gaze on him. _I don’t want your pity_ he wants to yell. Volleyball was the only thing Oikawa was decent at, _if anything_ and so he ignores all of their expressions and focuses on helping Seijoh win in the next tournament. A tournament he will not play because he wasn’t _strong enough_ to stand on the court, a tournament he will not play because he was not _good enough_.

_Never good enough. No matter what he did, Oikawa Tooru would never be good enough. For his team, for Iwaizumi, for himself._

**_“What’s in it for you?”_ **

Oikawa’s facade does not crumble when he speaks to Kunimi and Kindaichi, it does not crumble as he jokes with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, it does not crumble when he walks back home with Iwaizumi, their usual banter in place. _Oikawa would not break under their eyes_. So his facade does crumble, piece by piece it breaks and shatters when he’s in the safety of his room. Silent tears run down his cheeks as he faces the inevitable future that will come.

Iwaizumi and him will go to different colleges and Iwaizumi will find new friends, even a new best friend, _worse_ , he could fall in love and Oikawa will watch and watch and watch from the sidelines, far away as he spirals into a self destructive cycle and no one will be able to pull him out because _Iwaizumi is his caretaker_ . He feels anger, bitterness, frustration and anxiety all at once bubbling within him and he screams into his pillow. After a few more minutes, Oikawa washes his face hastily and runs out of the house, yelling a quick _‘I’ll be back in a bit.’_ to his mother.

He finds himself at the school gym and it’s no surprise at this point. He hits serve after serve, _it’s good practice for college anyway_. College would be an entirely different ball game, there would be players much more talented than him and if he wanted to make it onto the team, if he wanted to keep his sports scholarship, then he would have to work ten times harder.

It is at this point, when Oikawa does a jump serve, he miscalculates the distance and falls on his bad knee. Hot white pain sears through his entire leg and a hiss and whimper echo in the air at the same time. He can’t move his leg and it hurts _so bad_. He’s terrified that his knee is broken for good. Fear wins over his pride, but his phone is on the bench and he doesn’t even try getting up in the terror that he will cause more damage.

_What if he can’t play in college?_ **_What if he can’t play volleyball for the rest of his life?_ **

He sits _paralyzed_ , drowning in his thoughts. He tries to shift his leg, just by even a millimeter but the pain kills him and he lets out a muffled moan. Turning onto his side, he puts his weight on his good and inches towards the bench. The pain is agonizing and he feels his leg burning. His breathing is uneven and he grits his teeth, tears involuntarily running down his cheeks in response to the pain.

The gym door slides open “I knew you’d be - Oikawa?” 

He turns around to see Iwaizumi. _Of course it’s Iwaizumi_ and he feels relief wash over him.

“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi runs over to him and Oikawa collapses, back against the floor.

“Iwa-chan.” he rasps out, a weak smile on his face.

“What happened?” Iwaizumi is crouching next to him, inspecting his knee.

“Miscalculated - fell on my knee - _really really hurts_.” he mumbles, vision blurring as he tries to breathe normally.

Even as he lies on the floor in abysmal pain, he can read Iwaizumi like a book. He notices Iwaizumi’s eyes widen imperceptibly when he speaks in broken sentences, but Oikawa cannot bring himself to make an effort as the pain in his knee increases by the second.

“I’m going to call our parents. Just stay still okay.” 

“I really couldn't go anywhere even if I tried Iwa-chan.” Oikawa jokes.

Iwaizumi blows out, in his eyes is fear, plain as day and Oikawa feels his heart wrench. “ _Hajime, I’ll be fine_.” he smiles softly, ignoring the throbbing pain in his leg. 

“Trashykawa.” he murmurs, hesitation flickering in his eyes and then he presses his lips quickly against Oikawa’s forehead and he’s gone before Oikawa can say anything.

******

Iwaizumi hears from Oikawa’s parents that Oikawa is going to be fine and he feels his heart beating again. He slumps in a chair outside Oikawa’s room and thanks every deity in existence for saving his best friend.

He had known that Oikawa had been acting weirdly since practice. Iwaizumi himself had almost been fooled, _had almost missed the signs_ , only years of knowing Oikawa had helped him catch them - the stiffness in Oikawa’s shoulders, the way the younger man had been a little too present as if he was trying to distract himself from his thoughts, Iwaizumi knew Oikawa’s walls of defense well enough. 

Yet, he hadn’t acted upon his observations. He thought that he would be able to corner Oikawa tonight, but Iwaizumi had nearly lost him instead.

When Oikawa’s parents walk out and tell Iwaizumi that they’ll leave the both of them together for a while, Iwaizumi doesn’t hesitate. He walks into the room and puts Oikawa in a headlock.

“Iwa-chan! Ow ow ow Iwa-chan _I’m injured!_ ” Oikawa whines.

“You’re not allowed to scare me like that again.” Iwaizumi huffs as he releases Oikawa and occupies the empty chair next to his bed.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Oikawa says quietly and averts his eyes.

Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa for a moment and then “Oi, you know I’m not mad at you right?”

Brown orbs blink up at him and Oikawa’s expression turns sheepish as he mumbles out “I know.”

“Dumbass” Iwaizumi sighs fondly, “I was worried, not angry.”

“Sorry for making you worry Iwa-chan.” Oikawa laughs lightly.

Iwaizumi frowns “Oikawa, what's going on?”

“Nothing Iwa-chan.” Oikawa answers brightly.

“ _Tooru._ ”

Oikawa’s facade crumbles. After all, it _never_ stood a chance against Iwaizumi.

“I heard.”

“Heard what?”

“You keep giving and I keep taking Iwa-chan. _I’m selfish_ , I’ve always been selfish. _I’m sorry_.” Oikawa looks away, lips pressed, hands clenched in fists.

The silence stretches for minutes before Iwaizumi finally says “You idiot. You never heard the whole thing then, left before I said my piece.”

Oikawa turns to look at Iwaizumi, eyes wide. “Iwa-chan?”

Iwaizumi sighs “You are selfish Trashykawa. _You’re a brat_ . You make me spend too much money on milk bread, you make me watch the same alien movies and make me watch those trashy rom-coms, you always complain and whine like a five year old, you make me wait too long in the mornings and after practice because ‘ _beauty takes time’_ , you forget to bring an umbrella when it’s raining and a scarf when it’s winter.” Iwaizumi’s lips twitch into a smile “ Y _ou are like the sun Tooru, and I will always chase after you, for the rest of my life._ ”

Oikawa’s eyes rim with tears “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. You can leave, find new friends, a new best friend. I won’t bother you anymore, I won’t annoy you anymore. I’m sorry Iwa-ch - _Iwaizumi_.”

“I can leave? _Like the hell I will_ .” Iwaizumi snorts. “You leave your stuff in my room all the time, your things are always scattered in the house that my mom forgets she doesn’t have two sons, you’re in my head all the time and even when you aren’t there, _you’re still there_ . Oikawa I didn’t stay because someone made me, because I had to. I stayed because _I wanted to_. Get that in your head.”

Oikawa sniffles and then he leans into Iwaizumi, wrapping his arms around the older man.

“You’re still an ugly crier.” Iwaizumi mutters, but he hugs Oikawa back, shifting closer, so that the brunette wouldn’t strain his leg. Iwaizumi threads his fingers through Oikawa’s hair.

“I’m so lucky.” Oikawa’s voice comes out muffled.

“I am too.” Iwaizumi smiles. “Even though you’re a brat, you’re incredible you know, underneath all of that childishness. You’re determined, strong and have an uncanny ability to lift up other people and bring out the best in them. You’re incredibly passionate and you fiercely protect and love the people you care about. You aren’t as shallow as people make you out, if you were, I would have left a long time ago. _Tooru you’re enough_.” Iwaizumi finishes softly.

“Iwa-chan stop. Did you hit your head somewhere? You’re being overly nice.” Oikawa half laughs and half cries.

“Well I have to soothe your tendency to overthink. I can't believe you thought that I wouldn't have said anything in response.” Iwaizumi retorts and then a moment later “Never call me Iwaizumi, it feels too weird coming out of your mouth.”

“You hated it when we were younger.” Oikawa replies, pulling away and wiping his tears.

“And then I got used to it.” Iwaizumi sighs, shaking his head.

“You’ve called me Tooru thrice tonight.” Oikawa says, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“It always catches your attention better.” Iwaizumi shrugs.

“Are we going to talk about what happened at the gym?” Oikawa raises an eyebrow.

It’s Iwaizumi’s turn to look away “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Fine.” Oikawa replies airily.

“I wasn’t really thinking okay. I was worried!” Iwaizumi replies defensively.

“ _I love you too Hajime._ ”

“What?” Iwaizumi blinks at Oikawa.

Oikawa’s eyes widen and he stares at Iwaizumi “I’m usually good at reading people and those kind of cues - so I just thought - I didn’t mean to - ”

Iwaizumi cuts him off as he places his lips onto Oikawa’s. Both of them are smiling into the kiss. When they part, Oikawa’s eyes are shining and Iwaizumi feels his heart swell.

“I didn’t think you would like me back.” Iwaizumi shrugs.

“I’ll have you know that I fell in love with you first Iwa-chan.”

“Impossible.”

Oikawa raises an eyebrow, arms folded, face defiant.

“I figured it out when I was fourteen.” Iwaizumi challenges him.

“No fair Iwa-chan.” Oikawa whines “I was fifteen. I was so close.” and then he smirks “But I confessed first” a moment later “And you still haven’t said anything.” he finishes with a pout.

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, Oikawa really could display an array of emotions when he wanted to. “Brat.”

“Brute.”

“Dumbass.”

“Caveman.”

“Crappykawa.”

“Mean Iwa-chan!”

“ _I love you Tooru_.”

Oikawa smiles, a genuine one at that. “Much better.”

“You guys are gross.”

The both of them look up to see Hanamaki and Matsukawa at the door.

“Was the door open all this time?” Oikawa asks, face etching into an expression of horror.

“By that, if you meant, did your parents hear all of it? _Oh yes definitely_.” Matsukawa grins.

“Are you recording this?” Iwaizumi scowls.

“A good story to tell the kids.” Hanamaki wears a matching grin to Matsukawa.

“Why are you guys even here?” Oikawa whines, burying his face into his hands.

“Had to see our beloved captain.” Hanamaki smirks.

“That may or may not have been my fault.” Iwaizumi mumbles out.

“Prince charming over there freaked out unnecessarily. You had him really worried.” Matsukawa sighs.

Oikawa stares at Iwaizumi in shock and then “Makki stop recording!”

Hanamaki laughs in response and then he and Matsukawa pull up chairs next to Oikawa. “We’ll show you the entire thing.” Matsukawa flashes him a broad grin.

“Iwa-chan we need to get new friends!”

“I’ve been saying the same thing since I met you.” 

“Iwa-chan!”

As long as Oikawa had Iwaizumi by his side, he could battle anything, _conquer the world even_ . Oikawa might be Iwaizumi’s sun, but Iwaizumi was Oikawa’s entire world and without Iwaizumi, the sun would lose its light and warmth, _its entire purpose_.

It’s on a Monday, a few weeks before graduation that Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime cross the boundaries of being best friends.

* * *


End file.
